Today I had a particularly hellish commute to Boston on the U.S. Air Shuttle. Our flight was supposed to take off at 8:00 A.M., but a combination of weather/equipment/sunspots/the Elders of Zion kept us on the tarmac for an annoying 2 hours. The halcyon days of good free magazines on the Boston-New York-DC shuttle are long gone, so I was stuck without anything to read as I listened to the minutes click out of my life. With nothing else to do, I started watching the guy in the seat next to me as he struggled with the USA Today crossword puzzle. That was my big mistake. As it turns out, the only thing more annoying than sitting on an airplane with nothing to do is watching the guy next to you miss easy clues in the McNewspaper crossword.
After forty minutes of this, I was on the verge of screaming, "5 ACROSS IS 'DOTS!' D-O-T-S!! DO YOU HEAR ME??? DOTS!!!" The clue was "Ellipsis' three."
When I boarded the plane, I noticed that there was a First Class section, which seems to be a bit of a waste on a one hour and four minute flight. Now I realize that First Class is there so you don't have to watch steam come out of your neighbor's ears as he wrestles with the USA Today crossword puzzle. Nobody in First would miss "Ellipsis' three."
5 down was "Daphne," by the way.
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3 comments:
Hilarious.
As a frequent flyer, I'm sure this wasn't the first time you wanted a put a fellow traveler out of his misery.
I remember the old shuttle days. The Delta shuttle from the Marine Air Terminal was like the school bus of aviation, except they had all those magazines (I'm sorry to hear they're gone). You'd show up as the plane was pulling away from the gate and they'd just let you jump in the open door. Sit where you want! Security? Who the hell wants to blow up a plane full of VC's and TV producers? (Wait a second...)
By the way, do you think the "self-employment" that guy's talking about has anything to do with sending spam to everyone with a blog?
I'm just relieved to know that The Rock did his own stunts for Doom. It's good to know there are professional wrestlers with integrity out there, ones who care about realism.
'The Rock' was seven across....
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