Thursday, April 27, 2006

United 93

It opens this Friday and I find that I want to see it and I don't know why. I am troubled that there is something pornographic about my desire to see it.

After 9/11, I went through a period where I sought out, on the Internet, the worst of the worst video from the twin towers, but I think I understand why I did this. Having stood at the corner of Liberty and Church and watched the second plane hit the south tower, having run from the falling debris and burning jet fuel, having watched from my apartment window as people leapt and then tumbled down the sides of the building, having watched the south tower fall while turning to run from it, I sought out those images again because I don't think I could believe what I saw for real, with my own eyes, when I was standing there.

My then-girlfriend was very worried about this, but, interestingly, her parents, who are both well-respected psychiatrists, were not so surprised. Nor was her father surprised when I said, "no" when he asked if, given the choice, I could go back and leave my apartment 20 minutes earlier that day so that I would have seen nothing. I couldn't lie. As horrifying as it was, it was also the most intense experience of my life and I can't deny it. He understood.

But I don't understand why I want see United 93. I had no connection to that event. It does not confirm anything that was too shocking to process for me at first. I didn't find out about the whole thing until well after the event. On the ground on lower Broadway, people were telling me that 10-12 planes were in the air. We expected another one to drop at any time.

So, I can't understand why I am interested in seeing the movie. I can't think of a time when I have ever questioned my motives about going to see a film.

What you guys thinking about the film?

11 comments:

Chrispy said...

I think you want to see the film to keep filling in the details of the story. You saw the conclusion and it was too big to process; some part of your brain probably needs to know what it was like on those planes before they hit, and this is the closest thing there is.

Nearly all of the passengers' family members who have seen the film approve of it. It's "pornographic" in that it's real (as real as you can get) and of course that's always more compelling.

I like to think that if I'd been on that plane I too would have stormed the cockpit. On 9/11 this was the closest thing to fighting back anyone could do. It's an incredible story.

There's been so much talk about politics and the war and how it all relates to 9/11 but people forget that there were real, everyday New Yorkers around the WTC that day (like you) who had no idea what was coming. You wake up, it's just another beautiful day, and within an hour your life is upside down.

It's something that will never leave you, and it's not surprising that you've wanted to get so deeply inside of it. It's deep inside of you.

Tony Alva said...

First, I'd make an argument that you are connected to that flight. I'd say that while that particular plane wasn't bound for NYC, it was the news of the NYC and Pentagon planes that inspired the passengers to take action on their own. There are many more connections that can be easily made in my mind.

Me personally, I have to admit that I'm a little reluctant to see the film on account of it being such a recent event. I don't know why, but that's my gut. I'm also a little bit of a flyingaphobe. Seeing this movie will only be that much scarier for me on account of this. It was a horrible enough to watch on TV, it's kind of impossible for me to really imagine what it was like there in NYC.

I sort of see this movie as a modern day Private Ryan. The most amazing thing about Private Ryan is the first twenty minutes of the film, especially the first person POV. All those, military and civilian alike, who are still alive and were there say that it most definitely depicts in excruciating detail what it was like during that beach assault. Veterans flocked to see it too. I think time has a way of dulling perspectives. With Private Ryan I think Veteran’s wanted to sharpen their memory of their own experience and maybe that’s what will happen when we see this movie too.

I think we all want to explore internally whether or not we are capable of overcoming insurmountable fear to participate in a truly heroic act given the same set of circumstances. That’s what I think about watching Private Ryan. I wonder if I could muster the strength to board one of those landing crafts and carry out my duty. In the same way, I wonder what part of taking out the terrorists I’d have played if I was a passenger on flight 93.

Ultimately, assuming the film is done well (all indications are that it is), like Private Ryan it serves as a reminder of the astounding amount of gratitude we owe our heros, and for this reason alone I will overcome my apprehension and go see it the first opportunity I get.

Eric said...

while i find it a little creepy that there's a movie about it so soon, i don't think there's anything wrong with acknowledging voyeurism as a fundamental part of human nature. we're interested in each other. we want to know more about each other, and the experiences we go through.

not that it's entirely related, but i had a conversation with a friend the other night about the daniel johnston documentary. we were debating to what extent it's laudable that he's been able to improve the quality of his life through his career in music, and to what extent he's been "exploited", if at all.

let's face it, we are a nation of rubberneckers. while people like dave will probably get something a little more "meaningful" out of this film, most just want the voyeuristic experience. this isn't an intrinsically bad thing. are the people from that flight and their families being exploited? in the most literal sense of the term, perhaps. i guess that's up to them to answer.

Jackson said...

I was lucky enough not to be in NYC on that day, I was in Nyack a safe 30 miles north. I say lucky, because in a literal sence I was lucky to be nowhere near being hurt or killed. I don't feel lucky though, and a part of me wishes I was with Dave (though I didn't know him then) on that corner on that morning. As a New Yorker, I feel second rate because I wasn't there. Wierd huh?

At any rate, I haven't sought out those images, and in fact I have avoided all the documentaries and such that have already hit the airwaves. Not surprisingly, I'm not hot to see this movie either.

I'm sure I'll catch it on cable, but for now, I'm just not keen on it.

Like many on that day, I had no fear for my own life, but I was paralyzed with fear for my brother and his family. There was a period of about five hours where I didn't know if they were alive.

Again, I was lucky....

Dave Cavalier said...

My family was never worried about me because they had made a mistake in writing down my new address (believe it or not, I had moved on 9/10/2001). I lived at 71 Broadway, overlooking the graveyard of Trinity Church and towards the towers. My parents, for unknown reasons, had written my address down as 710 Broadway, so they thought I had moved near Grace Church, further uptown.

They were kind of surprised when I showed up at their doorstepp covered in dust.

Dfactor said...

Misanthropester - Tony A. makes a good point with the start of Saving Ryan's Privates - it *was* intensely real and we all wanted to see what the invasion that day was like.

But unlike you, I've no interest in reliving that day/week/month in my life again. Seeing the first plane hit and having my wife watch cars explode on the ground was enough for us.

stinkrock said...

Michael Moore used the WTC attack two years ago in his effort to de-seat GW in the Presidential election two years ago. Politics aside, no modern filmmaker is more manipulative, yet I saw no discussion as to whether that was made prematurely. So I'm unconvinced that Flight 93 was made too soon.

My main concern with this film (and Oliver Stone's impending film) is the impact it has on people who had no idea what happened that day. Too often, movies distort what really happened.

With that in mind, everything I've read about Flight 93 suggests that it has the right motivation--it pays tribute to a select group of people on one of America's darkest days, and without distortion. So I want to see it.

Dave Cavalier said...

10% of the opening weekend is going to the fund for the United 93 Memorial.

I'm not sure why the familiest themselves should or would want to get money directly.

Jackson said...

Circy's comment about growing up outside of NYC and feeling safe is interesting as Tony and I grew up about an hour north of the city, and as I can't speak for Tony, I will say that I never felt safe, not completely. I always felt that proximity to NYC put us at ground zero for the shower of nukes I was expecting any day. As most of us know, my old man was a career Army officer - for some reason that made me feel less safe, I felt closer to impending conflict with Russia - we did buy American cars (why, I'm not sure - they were crappy) and we did watch the Lunar Landing.

Tony Alva said...

Honestly, I never really worried too much about my safety living an hour up the river from NYC at least from foreign born attack. In my youthfully ignorant days I was more worried about either an Indian Point meltdown, or a major earthquake (the Hudson is a fault line), than anything else. Not enough worry that a bong hit wouldn't wipe it away.

It's been said before, but flying planes into buildings was just so inconceivable it was virtually impossible to foretell.

Jackson said...

Yeah - I can't say I saw THAT coming - I was still expecting the nukes...