Tuesday, December 13, 2005

What? Huh?

So, the Misanthrope was out with a lovely young redhead this evening, and his cumulative hearing deficit was a huge problem.

Let me go back a bit.

In 2000, the Misanthrope found himself prone to bouts of extreme dizziness. I would be walking down the street and suddenly the whole street would feel like it was swinging hard to the left and then bobbing up and down. I would be sitting still on the couch and it would feel like the couch was flipping over. It was just short of being severe enough that it would make me nauseated.

As a result, I went through a battery of tests. My then girlfriend, the doctor, demonstrated her professional bedside manner by bursting into tears and saying, "You CAN'T die on me" when I failed the basic neurological test she gave me. Luckily, the MRI was clear.

One of the tests I took was a hearing test. I fully expected to find that I had huge hearing deficits because of the inordinate amount of time I had spent in front of 100 watts of rock power.

Turns out I was wrong. My hearing was, in fact, well above average at every point in the spectrum.

But I don't believe them and tonight is another example of why. Despite my supposedly excellent hearing, I was straining like a 78 year old listening to Matlock on broken TV to hear what this lovely young redhead was saying. I mean, seriously, I was getting about 65% of the whole thing and that was including the lip-reading and general deductive reasoning I was employing. It was frustrating because I think she thought I was not interested in what she was saying.

Oh, the slings and arrows of outrageous volume.

So what's my point? My point is that Roger Waters is a socialist blowhard. I am old, deaf and cranky and I want a chocolate croissant NOW.

8 comments:

walter said...

I would like to respond as the person responsible for arranging the meeting of "the little red headed girl" in question. She is quite lovely. She thought that the misanthrope was a gentleman. I dont know what that means......

Jackson said...

I know so well the frustration you feel. "Sorry, I missed that", and "Come again" are my two most often used phrases in conversation. It helps to blame the other party for being a 'low talker' or a mumbler.

Dfactor said...

DC, that's a common problem I have in noisy NYC restaurants or bars as well - it's hearing it, but not really, 'cause all these other frequencies in the room noise are combatting for attention.

Ask Tall Tony about last week at CBs - He said something, I replied, he looked quizzical - apparently, I misinterpreted the entire thing...

MUST have been that ONE last version of Postal Blowfish....

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you simply didnt care what she had to say. She was, you said, young. Young women dont usually say much of value.

friend of Red said...

Dear Anonymous...I personally know the "lovely young redhead" in question. As a close friend of hers, I can vouche for the fact that what she has to say is always of value, well - at least of interest. Perhaps you shouldn't think that age is such a factor.

Dave Cavalier said...

Everybody be nice. The post was about my hearing. The lovely young red head was very bright and very interesting.

Chrispy said...

I, too, very often find it hard to differentiate between wanted and wanted sound, especially in your typical noisy NYC restaurant. I find myself doing the "huh? WHAT? WHAT?!!?!! ARE YOU TALKING TO ME??!?!??" thing a lot, which is probably why I don't spend much time with lovely young redheads.

Try somewhere quieter next time, like Smoke and Mirrors.

Tony Alva said...

Everytime I experience a brief ear ringing episode I say to myself, "Damn Iron Maiden...".